T
he FDA’s fascist campaign against the tobacco industry wants my beloved Djarums dead. But why?
If there is one kind of cigarette both smokers and non-smokers can enjoy together it is the clove. Non-smokers admire the smell and the nectarious paper around the filter. Self-conscious smokers adore being the perplexing anomaly in the crowd. The miasma of self-importance is subtle but powerful in these sexualized Indonesian secretion sticks. The cloves contribute their fair share to population control, keeping actuaries happy and insurance premiums low. And can we overlook the large revenue it generates to help maintain Indonesia’s independence from the Dutch East India Company? Were the multiple earthquakes and terrorist attacks insufficient acts of sovereign sodomy?
Must the cloves really be banned?
Candy flavored cigarettes I’ll concede. They epitomize self-indulgence, they are a small middle finger raised in a crowd of good people, and they are to man what a hula hoop is to ass-wiping. Perhaps I’ll shed a tear for the destroyed fetus on the cigarette box I remove from my pocket. Perhaps I will reminisce of Sarah Palin. But can’t a compromise be had over Djarums? Did zicam destroy the FDA’s sense of smell, and is this why the totalitarian government agency so heartlessly forbids the odorous rapture that Djarums provide?
FDA please come to your senses. There is a solution so simple a police officer could have come up with it: let us not allow people under 18 years of age to smoke the delicious Djarums.
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Bravo on the post! I can’t tell you all the number of times I got laid on DP after offering some girl a clove. Good work to bring light to this subject.
Dear Joe,
Thank you for your support.
In the case that the FDA ignores my appeal, I invite you to join my protest by offering home-sweetened cigarettes to school children.
Yours truly,
Kip
i found you by link from the Directory Listing Script from Ash.. Nice to read your blog ^.^
I am incredibly amused that something called “Demon Killer” comes in a juice box
It is the coolest site, keep so!
u r godsent dude.. THANKS
lurve you bunches! Thanx!!! ‘huggles’
Great site. Keep doing
thank you soooooo much for this
I loved what you had to say about the banning of Djarum, and all Kreteks in the states. I am VERY angry. I started smoking 7 years ago…. as a 43 year old. I made that choice as an adult…NOT a child. I never could stand the smell or taste of regular cigarettes. I ultimately decided on Djarum products after trying many different brands and types of cigarettes. To single out CLOVE, and flavoured cigarettes is a bunch of bullshit. And to use children as an excuse is ludicrous! What kid was going to plunk down anywhere between $8, and $10 for a pack of Clove cigs? Especially when they could get good ole Marlboro reds for between $3/$4 bucks…and look cool in front of their friends??? Our government is becoming a communist faction… they are starting to tell us what we can eat, drink, smoke, and wear. It is NOT a fair move to ban only cloves and flavoured cigarettes….if the damn government is going to ban cigarettes…then ban ALL cigarettes and Cigars. It’s absolutely ridiculous that we cannot even order them and have them shipped into the states from overseas. What kid is going to pay for that?????????? I WANT MY CLOVES BACK!!!!
Bindi, it’s a sad time. America even made Obama quit smoking.
I would want to job interview you for my webpage, you serious?