Sweet, tender, gentle bacon. Glory!

Those swindlers at the World Health Organization (WHO, a pseudonym) recently released the scientific equivalent to an extremely silent but deadly anal miasma.

The National Enquirer’s retarded half-cousin, The New York Times, reported last week that the WHO  (not the rock band of renowned kiddie-fiddler Pete Townshend, but the blasphemists mentioned above) has ceased tracking and reporting swine flu related casualties.

The journalistic and epidemiologistic virtuosity that lies inveterate within FTVS’s essence forces us to pose the question no other news institution has the testicular fiber to pose: why?

The answer resides somewhere between A) that there are inherent difficulties in establishing robust enough quantitative data sets correlating the relationship between causality and mortality when examining the H1N1 virus, and B) that if swine flu leads to the symptoms characterized in the picture above, this supposed “virus” is indeed more a celebration of life than it is an arbiter of necrosis.

FTVS heretoforth endorses swine flu, and asks that you, our demanding and fanatical reader base, not succumb to the wantonly sensationalistic bait that is being dangled by the CDC.

Swine flu, FTVS proclaims, is not an epizootic threat! FTVS also demands that the wondrous pig mammal receive immediate exculpation from the smear campaign that has racially profiled his species.