The indefatigable Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy are the seminal miniaturists who lay the tender, inviting foundation of modern democracy and theology. FTVS was pleased to see them perusing cocks and breasts large and small at the Folsom Street Fair. The duo’s film, 48 Hours, is the finest moving picture of all time – it [...]
Monthly Archives: September 2009
Sep 29
Culture Slut: FTVS Exclusive Photo Coverage of the Folsom Street Fair 2009
Editors’ note: The following photographs meticulously document the proceedings of the Folsom Street Fair 2009 in San Francisco. What sets FTVS apart from the rest of the world media is its disciplined attitude towards groundbreaking and truthful coverage which, in many cases, involves the display of multifold penises. For this reason, we must warn our [...]
Sep 28
Culture Slut: FTVS Exclusive Coverage of the Folsom Street Fair
Dearest readers, It is no secret that FTVS is a harbinger of etiquette and calculus. Scouring the global earth for narratives of incision and firmness, the FTVS team will do anything to ensure the barometer of journalistic integrity is routinely exploded. Like an orgasm, but with extreme prejudice and pleasure. It is with this lawful [...]
Sep 23
Art Slut: Micheal Leon Studio Dot Com
Micheal Leon is the brilliant man behind much of what is geometrically correct today. We encourage our readers to study his new internet site. While his name implies he may be an Italian cuntlet, FTVS fact-checkers have assured us that he is not. Indeed, the man lives in Portland (suggesting he is a recovering heroine [...]
Sep 21
Food Slut: ROSCOE’s 1/4 Bird Smothered with Gravy & Onions, 2 Waffles = the FTVS Mix
West Hollywood is the last bastion of geometric tastefulness in this transvestite of a world. It is FTVS’s place of comfort when we occasionally lose sight of the profundity of our existence. Roscoe’s House of Chicken’ n Waffles, flanked on Gower between Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard, is one of the four (4) places in Los [...]
Sep 17
Music Slut: Keep it Sexual and Perhaps Tenderly Percuss a Woman
Many musicians have died lately. So did Bodhi. What is the lesson to be taken from these premature terminations? Who gives a fecal shit, because the future of music is more coruscating than a Somnambulist’s imbrued cod-hole (synonym for vagina with girth, which is ironically, very unbright, most likely; ethnography required for tautological substantiation). FTVS [...]
Sep 16
Commentary Slut: West Java, Indonesia
Dear reader, I come back from my voluntary exile to the Indonesian archipelago with distressing news. During my journey, I uncovered an evil breed of White men and women (previously unheard of). A breed of Europeans that only inspires disgust and contempt. Indonesia is for surf and cheap whores, period. Only one part of the coastline [...]
