Earlier this month during the New Noise festivities, FTVS managed to surgically escape from that sodomizing heretic Michael Franti, and found acoustic refuge a few blocks down State Street at Velvet Jones. The evening at this couture venue consisted of an impressive and delectable musical aperitif of the punk rock variety. FTVS caught up with [...]
Monthly Archives: October 2009
Oct 28
Music Slut: R.I.P. Wighnomy Brothers
The Wighnomy Brothers are to techno what Barney is to dinosaurs: portly, friendly and very radically sexual. Thus, it is with sincere despondence that FTVS announces their disbandment. Soren (Monkey Maffia) and Gabor (Robag Wruhme), the parts which make up the Wighnomy’s immaculate whole, penned this note to FTVS founding editors Jack Colt and Bob [...]
Oct 27
Culture Slut: Sushi (??) and Ice and Everything Nice
The FTVS (???????) constituency is well-acquainted with everything sensible and geometrically discriminating. Perhaps this explains the surging popularity of Jack Colt (????????) in the Nipponese Archipelago. During a recent business trip to Japan (??) — to meet with FTVS angel-investor Masaru Ibuka (???) of course — Mr. Colt found himself splayed on his hotel bed [...]
Oct 22
Music Slut: Infusion – All Night Sun Light
Wollongong trio Infusion announced today the release of their new artist album All Night Sun Light. FTVS urges you, dear reader, to study their first single So Soon (available for digital download below) and Dog Town. Thorough review is a must in order to dispose of the prejudice against the Terra Australis you rightfully developed [...]
Oct 20
Music Slut: Dreamwave and Yacht Funk, Thank You L.A.
There must be something, dear reader, in the Los Angelean water, something subtle and quite frankly intangible, that allows for such journalistic mastery. While it remains decisively unclear what sooo distinguishes Yacht Funk, Dreamwave, Balearic Disco and Nu-Disco from one another, FTVS acknowledge these arbitrary categorizations were of course direly needed.
Oct 17
Movie Slut: Britain Makes Good, Finally
It is universally known that the perfidious Albion — also known as Pommyland, or Britain — has never contributed much, if anything, to humankind. Shockingly, the Pom bastards and trollops have finally bequeathed something upon the rest of us (aside from bad teeth, bad food, and of course slavery) that is not merely mediocre, but [...]
Oct 17
Q&A Slut: Biracial is the New Black
The media maelstrom continues tenaciously. Was FTVS culturally, ethnically, dare we say it, racially insensitive when using the term mulatto in its most recent exposé on Obama’s groundbreaking trip to San Francisco? Let us be pellucidly clear: FTVS endorses President Barack Obama. Let us expand upon this unprecedented salience: FTVS endorses multi-racial sex parties and multi-racial [...]
Oct 15
PSA Slut: FTVS Aircraft Crashes, FTVS Intern Still Missing
FORT COLLINS, Colo. – FTVS’s latest contribution to humanity went impossibly wrong after six (6) year-old FTVS intern Falcon Heene accidentally fell in the cockpit of a balloon built by legendary craftsman and mediocre father Richard Heene. This very groundbreaking apparatus was developed exclusively and with extreme prejudice for FTVS transport, as airplanes had proven [...]
