Taste the rainbow. And the freedom.
It comes as no surprise to everyone that Obama Barack would charter the beleaguered Air Force One (1) to San Francisco solely to lobby the eminent FTVS staff.
The media firestorm that accrued around missing FTVS intern Falcon Heene swept through the District of Columbia beltway like syphilis in the Castro. Obama, being the copacetic mulatto that he is, took heed and understood that decisive action was required. Mr. President arrived at San Francisco International Airport (SFO) on October 15th at exactly 4:53pm PST. His motorcade awaited, and thoroughly transported our dearest Barry to FTVS headquarters by 5:21pm PST.
Why? Some of you may still ponder. Of course, because Obama Barack demanded a face-to-face with senior FTVS staff to lobby on behalf of his daughter, Malia. The FTVS 2009 underage intern search has left no person unmoved, emotionally, physically, and of course metaphysically.
It is of supreme naturality that Obama would insist upon his first born daughter interning with FTVS — a replacement for that asshole child known as Falcon Heene. The leader of the unconditionally free world demanded that Malia fill the void left by the aeronautically retarded bird child.
Sadly, FTVS insisted on rebuking the President’s lobbying efforts, due to unconfirmed reports suggesting he was not born in the United States of America, but in Sweden and Guam. Accordingly, the FTVS intern search remains open, like Mariah Carey’s sweet, gaping beef factory.
Despite this, FTVS would like to acknowledge that Mr. Obama’s motorcade bears an uncanny resemblance to his member: long, fast, shiny and black, just as the picture suggests. FTVS also bore witness to Air Force One (1), not at FTVS headquarters but at SFO. Uncannily, this megaloid aircraft also bears a striking resemblance to our dearest President’s coital organ: vascular, sinewy and octoroon.
What long-standing theory does has FTVS proven? That President Barack possesses a fortuitous phallus, and that his modes of transport were sculpted on this dictum. Also, that FTVS is a remarkable bastion of integrity, and is unfettered even by the most potent echelons of political prowess.
Please witness the excerpt below. This heated exchange between the two leaders confirms FTVS’s Bob Albatross as a master of negotiation.
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