FTVS believed it had located the most discerning weblog in the universe of electronic music (renowned for its remarkably exclusive interviews), but apparently this jewel of netspace has some competition from Binary.

The following excerpt, discussing sonic tapestries by the likes of Sebastien Tellier and Lifelike, left the FTVS editorial staff feeling entirely inadequate:

I like to think that all of this stuff falls under the umbrella of “dreamwave”…simply because there are sooo many different musical elements that can make a song unique enough to classify it in a new way, and that’s why we have sooo many different genre names in music in general, but especially in dance music. Dreamwave was created to classify stuff that was more fitting as the embodiment of an idea rather than a style of music. It’s more about the approach taken towards the music. It’s about the spirit that is captured in that song. It’s about embracing melody and song and it’s about experimentation in electronic sonic beautification. So yeah, it’s nice to see everything evolve. And it’s nice to see these ideals spread to music that is drawing its influence from other places.

Jesus Lee Fucking Harvey Oswald Christ. Consecrate! Dreamwave! Electronic music has hereby been baptized.

Dreamwave: the embodiment of an idea.

It is tempting to examine and massage each individual sentence in the paragraph displayed above, but FTVS does not accede to seduction easily. Nonetheless, it is of supreme importance to note that one locution in particular — “It’s about embracing melody and song and it’s about experimentation in electronic beautification” — is irrevocably the most graceful sonnet to ever be keyed with a qwerty peripheral. Yates, Keats and Frost are most certainly stimulating their formaldehyde-imbibed phalluses from their graves to this penetrating eloquence.

Rest assured FTVS has dispersed an urgent message to good friend Laurent Heinrich, also known as Lifelike, to get his perspective on this superior classification (please note that a strong sense of inclusion and belonging is aroused from acknowledging DJs by their given names). A creeping hunch suggests that dearest Laurent H. will joyously laugh and then vomit with benediction — an understandable reaction.

Censorship has never been so unnecessary! These unstoppable virtuosos also coined the long overdue term Yacht Funk for an entirely separate genre. Stacey Pullen, Jeff Mills, S Club 7 and Carl Craig may all lay their heads to rest knowing these melodic sects have been given their own parlance.

There must be something, dear reader, in the Los Angelean water, something subtle and quite frankly intangible, which allows for such journalistic mastery.

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