FTVS and Tiga covet a long-lasting and one hundred (100) percent non-sexual relationship extending back to the autumn of 2000. It all began one night at Sona, the illustrious and deceased afterhours located in the erroneously non-European megapolis known as Montreal. A discerning FTVS Senior Editor has shared both the DJ booth and mascara on [...]
Monthly Archives: November 2009
Nov 26
Surf Slut: Too Big for Gidget
The Women World Championship Tour (WCT) of Surfing is to the men WCT what the Paralympics are to the the Olympic Games: a cacophonous assortment of individuals watched by no one, and solely organized to avoid riots from retarded lobby groups. Women surfers proved on numerous occasion to be a strange breed of human that [...]
Nov 24
Music Slut: A Star Too Bright
It is quite rare and perhaps never that FTVS is left speechless. This, of course, is our sacramental duty: to vocalize the fidelity of truth when all others are too flaccid to offer factualism. Finally, however, FTVS has found a star so bright that it has not only blinded our editorial staff but also left [...]
Nov 19
Music Slut: Flairs is Le Tres Chic
FTVS is very pleased to announce the upcoming release of French bass master Flairs‘ Truckers Delight on Third Side Records November 23 2009. While the music itself is relatively unimportant and better documented elsewhere, Mr. Flairs’ new EP shines thanks to a groundbreaking video successfully blending large breasts, feces, tongues, Hummer, anal pumps, rectal exploration [...]
Nov 19
Movie Slut: 2012 > Schindler’s List
Movie critics are not unlike chlamydia or gonorrhea: very exasperating and inconvenient when you are lusting for the full hermeneutic stroking of the mind and cock. Of course, never has this been more palpable than when the film critic community recently took it upon itself to question the irrevocable supremacy of 2009′s greatest movie: 2012. [...]
Nov 18
Travel Slut: Britney Extinguishes LA Riots… Lee Coombs Uninterviewed…
As part of FTVS’s annual fundraiser, I embarked last week on a journey to Western Australia to meet FTVS main benefactor Alan Bond. After a rather heated meeting on Friday over dinner at the notoriously decadent C Restaurant located on the 33rd floor of the AAPT building in Perth (Western Australia, Australia), I decided to [...]
Nov 17
Career Slut: FTVS Is Hiring
The essence of this post is about something of premium merit, something of seraphic importance somehow at par with a spacetime singularity: FTVS is hiring. It is widely known that FTVS co-founder Kip Penn retired permanently six months ago to the wilderness of Indonesia to satiate his insatiable thirst for nubile yet gynandrous intersexuals. On [...]
Nov 10
Music Slut: The Art of Trance (Super Gay, I.E. Super Happy)
FTVS is pleased to report that Platipus Records has returned. Yes, dear reader, it is important to stress that FTVS is not racist towards trance music from the 1990s, and unlike most other weblogs, does not pay heed to ribaldry or vogue ideologies (note that FTVS does exercise extreme prejudice toward trance music from the [...]
Nov 10
Fashion Slut: Ed Hardy Quenches Your Thirst
Readers, it is eternally execrable that Ed Hardy connoisseurs are frequently misunderstood to be little more than well-tanned date rapists who push the modern boundaries of facial hair symmetry. Ed Hardy aesthetes discerningly adorn themselves in such voguish things as t-shirts with sparkles, and tigers, and of course, sparkly tigers. Profound, yet unequivocal. Having conquered [...]
