Monthly Archives: November 2009

Music Slut: Tiga, Sex Or Die

FTVS and Tiga covet a long-lasting and one hundred (100) percent non-sexual relationship extending back to the autumn of 2000. It all began one night at Sona, the illustrious and deceased afterhours located in the erroneously non-European megapolis known as Montreal. A discerning FTVS Senior Editor has shared both the DJ booth and mascara on […]

Surf Slut: Too Big for Gidget

The Women World Championship Tour (WCT) of Surfing is to the men WCT what the Paralympics are to the the Olympic Games: a cacophonous assortment of individuals watched by no one, and solely organized to avoid riots from retarded lobby groups. Women surfers proved on numerous occasion to be a strange breed of human that […]

Music Slut: A Star Too Bright

It is quite rare and perhaps never that FTVS is left speechless. This, of course, is our sacramental duty: to vocalize the fidelity of truth when all others are too flaccid to offer factualism. Finally, however, FTVS has found a star so bright that it has not only blinded our editorial staff but also left […]

Music Slut: Flairs is Le Tres Chic

FTVS is very pleased to announce the upcoming release of French bass master Flairs‘ Truckers Delight on Third Side Records November 23 2009. While the music itself is relatively unimportant and better documented elsewhere, Mr. Flairs’ new EP shines thanks to a groundbreaking video successfully blending large breasts, feces, tongues, Hummer, anal pumps, rectal exploration […]

Movie Slut: 2012 > Schindler’s List

Movie critics are not unlike chlamydia or gonorrhea: very exasperating and inconvenient when you are lusting for the full hermeneutic stroking of the mind and cock. Of course, never has this been more palpable than when the film critic community recently took it upon itself to question the irrevocable supremacy of 2009’s greatest movie: 2012. […]

Music Slut: Exclusive Interview of the Year 6th Edition – Lee Foss

FTVS favorite Lee Foss is surely the most handsome DJ/producer in the world. He also probably makes sex with women that are maybe only imaginary because they are so attractive and penis hemorrhaging. In addition, Lee produces very good music with FTVS intern Jamie Jones under the guise of Hot Natured, is an integral artist […]

Music Slut: The Art of Trance (Super Gay, I.E. Super Happy)

FTVS is pleased to report that Platipus Records has returned. Yes, dear reader, it is important to stress that FTVS is not racist towards trance music from the 1990s, and unlike most other weblogs, does not pay heed to ribaldry or vogue ideologies (note that FTVS does exercise extreme prejudice toward trance music from the […]

Fashion Slut: Ed Hardy Quenches Your Thirst

Readers, it is eternally execrable that Ed Hardy connoisseurs are frequently misunderstood to be little more than well-tanned date rapists who push the modern boundaries of facial hair symmetry. Ed Hardy aesthetes discerningly adorn themselves in such voguish things as t-shirts with sparkles, and tigers, and of course, sparkly tigers. Profound, yet unequivocal. Having conquered […]

Puta Musical: Silverio Is El New Deadmau5

FTVS is obliged to introduce Bioy Bienduro, FTVS’s official minority correspondent. This is his first piece, after many failed submissions, of course. Buenas tardes, dear readers! Soy Bioy Bienduro de Xochimilco, Mexico. So fresh am I to this great nation del Norte that my pants’ cuffs still waft the Rio Grande’s fecal pungency. En serio, […]

Movie Slut: Speaking in Code

It is no secret that cinematic movies seeking to undress the legislatures of electronic music are generally, specifically, and perhaps inherently, quite awful. FTVS was couriered a copy of the recently re-edited and soon to be re-released film, Speaking in Code. Groundbreakingly, director Amy Grill has understood what Orson Welles, Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay […]