Some things are better than words but no things are better than Billy Dee Williams. He is the original erogenous black man. FTVS often asks: should we risk child support liability and allow the full release to occur inside? Can we place so much sexual kismet in Fortuna’s petite if not calloused hands? Of course, [...]
Monthly Archives: March 2010
Mar 26
Book Slut: Iannis Xenakis’ Formalized Music
Initially published in 1971, Iannis Xenakis’ Formalized Music is the most groundbreaking and geometrically correct book ever written; a gospel to be masturbated by any aspiring producer. Art, and above all, music, has a fundamental function, which is to catalyze the sublimation that it can bring about through all means of expressions. It must aim [...]
Mar 24
Film Slut: Dirty Pictures
While UC Berkeley is currently nurturing a nasty crop of Keynesian syphilis among its Economics department, Cal’s Chemistry department remains at the forefront of theological psychotropic exploration. These groundbreaking seeds were initially sown by FTVS’s favorite mind explorer and Cal alum Alexander Shulgin (co-author of the penis-inflating monographs PiHKAL and TiHKAL). Dr. Shulgin is the [...]
Mar 17
Music Slut: Lazers, Tits, and King Britt
The Saint Patrick’s celebration is and has always been a most adequate day to reawaken your latent alcoholism and to force sex upon Irish looking people. Vice versa is also acceptable. This year FTVS will help you, dear reader, with your endeavors by offering you one of the most groundbreaking websites ever to emerge from [...]
Mar 15
Film Slut: I Am A Motherfucker
The motherfucker is Thomas Alexander Bruso, a bearded gentleman famous throughout the Oakland area and also the internet area. Mr. Bruso is an expert, shall we say, at doing the right thing at the right time in the right place. Perhaps justifiably he was tasered at an Oakland A’s game by the Orwellian pigs, and [...]
Mar 11
FTVS ESSENSUAL MIX, First (1) Edition: DROOG
Readers, we present to you the culmination of it all: the FTVS Essensual Mix. It is hot like gay porn, but with more phallus and even more vagina. An iteratively monthly podcast event, the FTVS Essensual Mix is curated to expose Fortuna’s effete sensuality and easy virtue. It is an effort to spread her lips [...]
Mar 06
PSA Slut: FTVS Editors Brawl over Deniz Kurtel, FTVS Output Negatively Affected
Readers, sometimes life throws lemons at you, in which case it is very advisable that you self-medicate with rophynol and reacquaint yourself with PornHub. This past week, FTVS editors found themselves in a mutual lemon, when what started as a groundbreaking and exclusive interview of young female producer Deniz Kurtel escalated into organized warfare at the FTVS [...]
Mar 04
Music Slut: Songs For Sex, Volume 1
Readers, sometimes we just need a little bit more 80s Negro action in our lives. FTVS does not really need this because of course Grace Jones and Carl Weathers are both interns in our office. Still, the videos below will assist in stimulating those of you undernourished by a lack of African American companions. Spice [...]
