Posted by on March 11, 2010 at 8:45 pm.

Readers, we present to you the culmination of it all: the FTVS Essensual Mix. It is hot like gay porn, but with more phallus and even more vagina.

An iteratively monthly podcast event, the FTVS Essensual Mix is curated to expose Fortuna’s effete sensuality and easy virtue. It is an effort to spread her lips and dive in, penetrating at once her mighty mind and sordid snatch.

The selection process is discerning and only moderately racist, based entirely on the artists’ ability to inspire strong erections among our editorial board. FTVS encourages one hundred (100) percent musical freedom, experimentation, a daily selenium supplement, and of course, lots of spit.

It was only natural, like a teenage hermaphrodite, to pop the FTVS Essensual Mix cherry with Droog. This Los Angelean triumvirate has been instrumental in educating the Southern Californian masses in musical theology, by launching the Culprit label a year ago, and of course instigating the Culprit sessions atop the Standard Hotel Downtown L.A.

Let us leave it to the artists themselves to describe their concocted orgy of breasted grooves and fellated snares. As phrased by Sirs Andrei, Brett and Justin (in alphabetical but also preferential order):

Upon a well lubricated commencement of our RebelRave inspired musings this Saturday past, we have birthed (those mix-rearing hips came in handy) a set filled to the brim with sensual and amorous innuendos and bravado. When you listen, think of our potent seed.

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  1. P. Toile – One (Tanner Ross & Sergio Santos’ remix) [Kina Music]
  2. Geddes & Mick Newman – Lost Souls [Tsuba]
  3. Glimpse – If I Was Your Girl (Beats Mix) [Crosstown Rebels]
  4. 20:20 Soundsystem – Broken (Uner & Coyu remix] [20:20 Vision]
  5. Geddes & Mick Newman – Solaris (Anonym remix) [Tsuba]
  6. Joss Moog – Fat Mama [Minority Music]
  7. Veitengruber – Make You Crazy [Hohenregler]
  8. DJ W!ild – Goiabada [Love Letters From Oslo]
  9. The Drug Punks – Drug (Erick Morillo Dub) [Sondos]
  10. AKA JK – SOTWTGYO (Runaway Remix) [Throne of Blood]
  11. John Johr – Baby [Left’d]
  12. MANIK – Shaolin [Culprit]
  13. Lee Foss – Solo [Culprit]
  14. Kenneth James Gibson feat. Kelly Johnston – Something in The Way (Ryan Crosson’s Dub Trip remix) [Culprit]
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  • M.Minkoff says:


    I am equal parts amazed and disturbed by your proclivity for solecisms and blather in your highly refined, yet incredibly plebeian journalism (i.e. gonzo). This morning, like most mornings, I opened my browser window and began mentally and physically (i.e. fornicating myself) in preparation for the days offerings of hedonistic pleasures – an intoxicating mix of theology, geometry, food and sex – as well as the central reason for aforementioned delicacies existence: Electronic Music.

    FTVS did not disappoint.

    Imagine my surprise when I discovered; First, that Japanese artists have clearly unlocked the secrets of the female pleasure center; Second, the face (and vagine) melting FTVS Essensual Mix, Vol. 1 DROOG.

    My response to such ecstasy was immediate and powerful: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

    I suspect that the refractory period is directly correlated with ones ability to begin the Mix anew. I will begin testing this theory immediately.

    Be warned, this musical orgy may not be safe for work. For those born after the fall of the Berlin Wall (i.e. linguistic philistines) let me rephrase: NSFW

  • Aron says:

    BOMB MIX! and the graphics are stimulating, though probably not worksafe as previously indicated.

  • richard h says:

    the average vagina is 3 inches long

  • richard h says:

    and the average penis is 14 inches long…great music by the way….

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