PSA Slut: Size Does Matter When Inserting Sea Animals In Anus

Posted by on May 5, 2010 at 12:46 pm.

Eels, maximum pleasure, maximum danger.

Readers, FTVS is first and foremost a source of public health and safety, an almanac of medicality and biological guidance. It is why Kathleen Sebelius frequently stops by the office for a game of find-the-gherkin.

Ever since FTVS featured a glowing review of Shane Smith‘s documentary Genki and The Art of Eel Porn, FTVS readers around the planet have indulged in the sweet and deliciously electrifying rectal insertion of our black little friend, the eel.

Sadly last week, long time FTVS reader Hao Xing suffered a most untimely death after being subjected to a surprise insertion of a fifty (50) centimeter Asian specimen in his rectum.

Yes, dear reader, eels, like penises and dildos, come in different sizes and colors, and while they can all be very capable of massaging the prostate, larger eels are known to be capable of also eating the prostate and its surrounding tissues, which, in the case of our friend Hao Xing, can be lethal.

Of course, FTVS always advises you to play roulette with that heathen trollop Fortuna, and if sticking an eel in your fur burger is the only way you can achieve maximum satisfaction, then let nothing stop you.

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3 Comments

  • iro says:

    is it okay to be made horny by that animation? not because i am …… i’m just wondering

  • Balaram says:

    I love the seafood guide! And thank you for pitsong the link, because the last time I went to the site there were no regional guides, only the main one (and the sushi one). Hopefully the regional one will cover some of the Gulf stuff we run across that isn’t on the National list.

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