Initially published in 1971, Iannis Xenakis’ Formalized Music is the most groundbreaking and geometrically correct book ever written; a gospel to be masturbated by any aspiring producer. Art, and above all, music, has a fundamental function, which is to catalyze the sublimation that it can bring about through all means of expressions. It must aim [...]
Author Archives: Jack Colt
Film Slut: Dirty Pictures
While UC Berkeley is currently nurturing a nasty crop of Keynesian syphilis among its Economics department, Cal’s Chemistry department remains at the forefront of theological psychotropic exploration. These groundbreaking seeds were initially sown by FTVS’s favorite mind explorer and Cal alum Alexander Shulgin (co-author of the penis-inflating monographs PiHKAL and TiHKAL). Dr. Shulgin is the [...]
Music Slut: Lazers, Tits, and King Britt
The Saint Patrick’s celebration is and has always been a most adequate day to reawaken your latent alcoholism and to force sex upon Irish looking people. Vice versa is also acceptable. This year FTVS will help you, dear reader, with your endeavors by offering you one of the most groundbreaking websites ever to emerge from [...]
FTVS ESSENSUAL MIX, First (1) Edition: DROOG
Readers, we present to you the culmination of it all: the FTVS Essensual Mix. It is hot like gay porn, but with more phallus and even more vagina. An iteratively monthly podcast event, the FTVS Essensual Mix is curated to expose Fortuna’s effete sensuality and easy virtue. It is an effort to spread her lips [...]
Economics Slut: Jack Colt Penetrates the Federal Reserve System, Attains Climax
Friday February the 5th was the 2010 meeting of the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) at the Federal Reserve. Naturally, FTVS was in attendance. Yes, dear readers, we crashed one of the most significant economic meetings of the year. As the agile FTVS reader will recall, sexuality and economic performance are highly correlated, like [...]
TV Slut: Megwin TchiBi
The astute reader remembers FTVS’s avant-garde coverage of the bizarre yet sublime art of inflating various organs of the body with saline injections. The same reader remembers our constantly renewed admiration for all things Nippon, particularly when it involves vaginal play with serpentine sea creatures. Will the Nipponese ever cease to dazzle our pale-colored round-eyes? Will [...]
Party Slut: This Weekend in Color
Times are tough dear readers, and choosing a party is tougher. But if you feel like times couldn’t be worse, gain some fucking perspective — had the Nazis won the war, you’d most likely be dancing the Sprachinseltänze or Bandltanz with a star on your sleeve to Hofbräuhaus Electro at das Avalon this Friday night. Instead, thanks [...]
PSA Slut (1967 Edition): LSD-25 Friend or Foe?
The greatest doctor once said “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” FTVS staff, on the other hand, jovially advocates for the golden quartet; it usually and perhaps always contributes to the procreation of groundbreaking FTVS content. Can you imagine what would become of the [...]
Product Slut: Apple iPad to Extinguish JazzMutant Lemur?
MIDI controllers are to live PAs what dildos and strap-ons are to lesbian porn and long bus rides: essential and very nice. Among the glamorous bunch, the Monome open source concept and JazzMutant are the choice of the riches. Until today, perhaps. A theologically and surgically resurrected Steve Jobs announced today the release of the [...]
Music Slut: This is Acid, Rave Like It’s ’93 in LA This Weekend
A 303 on overdrive is not unlike a flock of prostitutes in a Javanese bordello staring at you on sweaty winter afternoon. More sexual perhaps, but equally invigorating. Congruently, it also brings with it the prospect of satisfying the most perverted and decadent of fetishes, albeit with the sweet prospect of a long-lasting rash and [...]
