FTVS salutes ten years of online bravery by French funny man and Internet superstar Remi Gaillard. Mr. Gaillard is, to put it simply, a genius of theologically advanced humor capable of inciting comedic riot. While most socially cushioned French bastards regard an economical recession as an abnormally long paid vacation, the former soccer player used [...]
Author Archives: Jack Colt
Music Slut: “It’s So Cold in the D” and “Smell Yo Dick” — FTVS Songs of the Year (2009 Edition)
Music, dear readers, is transcendental only on the rarest of occasions. More frequently, it is just disappointing and not worth the effort, like sex with a white girl. Unsurprisingly then, FTVS’s musical loins have largely gone sterile and flaccid since discovering Treal Lee and Prince Rick in September of 2009. Nothing compared… Until now. Indeed, [...]
Blog Slut: FTVS “One of the best reads this season” according to Flavorwire.com
December is a time of celebratory decadence sparing no one, and certainly not FTVS. Every year during this gloomy yet cheerful thirty (30) day marathon, opinions are forged and labels are distributed. December is, after all, the season of ranking the culturally syphilitic minutiae that has waged war upon our ears, mouths, eyes, and other [...]
Music Slut: Ghostface Killah, Christmas Comes Early
And on the second day of Christmas, FTVS brings you a Ghostface Killah anthem that is both geometrically and theologically astute. The lyrics are subtle, implicit and conscious, and through Killah’s symphonious phonetic ironies and nuances, we are able to surmise that perhaps, dear reader, Mr. Ghostface is simply asking us to love one another. [...]
Art Slut: Corey Helford Gallery, Culver City CA
Corey Helford is the owner and curator of the eclectic, refreshing and mostly geometrically sexual Corey Helford Gallery (CHG) in Culver City, California. The gallery concentrates (not exclusively) on a palette of upcoming and well-established Los Angeles based artists. With uncanny skill, these bifurcating bastards of art combine death and childhood, horror and fantasy, macabre and [...]
Career Slut: Former FTVS Editor Sighted on Youtube
It is often easy to forget FTVS’s humble debut as a single page black and white publication published weekly from the basement of the Mitchell Brothers’ O’Farrell Theatre in San Francisco. In those distant yet sexual days, Josephine Goldstein was ruling the FTVS Editorial room with an iron vagina and a cast iron breast set. [...]
TV Slut: The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret [Download]
FTVS’s ongoing search for an additional staff writer is proving to be an exhausting and testing experience, increasing the already sky high level of stress among us. We need, dear reader, a break. Quality entertainment delivered rapidly is of quintessential importance for the cosmopolitan FTVS leadership, and until now, mouth sex, masturbation, poppers, and Shetland [...]
