Category Archives: Photo

Culture Slut: FTVS Exclusive Photo Coverage of the Folsom Street Fair 2009

Editors’ note: The following photographs meticulously document the proceedings of the Folsom Street Fair 2009 in San Francisco. What sets FTVS apart from the rest of the world media is its disciplined attitude towards groundbreaking and truthful coverage which, in many cases, involves the display of multifold penises. For this reason, we must warn our reader that the truth may sometimes be hard to grasp. Please ask your fellow employees and bosses if they like to peruse the reproductive organs before feasting your eyes upon this Man Booker Prize winning photograph essay.

Photo by Jack Colt © All rights reserved.

Culture Slut: Jack Colt – Feared To Be Victim of Terrorism Soiree

Before Picture, Sent by Jack Colt by IPhone Camera

Before picture, sent by Jack Colt on his Nokia iPhone camera.

UPDATE: JACK COLT IS DOING VERY NICELY. PLEASE READ THE MESSAGE BELOW, BUT IGNORE ALL MEANINGS EXTANT WITHIN.

Dear readers,

Jack Colt, founding organizer of FTVS and esteemed quantitative analyst, is missing in the Indonesian archipelago. Wavelength signals transmitted via FTVS newswire indicate another flaccid terrorist encumbrance in the nation’s capital, Jakarta. FTVS eagerly awaits word on Mr. Colt’s normally robust health. Meanwhile, candle lit vigils illuminate the nation.

Before despair disseminates, there are myriad variables that require processing:

It is widely known that Mr. Colt enjoys absolute hibernation during his initial 5 days in the former Dutch colony. He is commonly understood to subsume himself in unbridled labial/vaginal adventures predicated on fiscal exchange, while sometimes exploring the testicular conquests of gender mismatch.

Congruently, upon Indonesian reintegration, our dearest Mr. Colt oftentimes indulges in aggressive “arvo” sessions protoluxed with exorbitant  psilocybin intake.

As a result, his lack of correspondence can not be taken alone as proof of his imminent death via virgin-providing (that is the point, after all, is it not?) suicide bomb. Intensive research suggests the weapons were prescribed by several unassuming Indonesian males – bagus, they are, err, were not.

Dearest Jack, our thoughts are with you, and we pray to Artemis that you have not been exploded by nitroglycerenic compounds, courtesy of a few bad apple, unhappy Indonesian dickheads.

God bless, and may your journeys be flawless.

Fashion Slut: Kate Moss

Dark, sensual, and totally erotic

Dark, sensual, and totally erotic.

In this dissipating world, balance is rarer than a rhino fisting a turtle. Very few comprehend the importance of a geometrically satisfying theology. Even fewer pursue it. Hedi Slimane does though. His centrist shot of Kate Moss’ nipple covering issue 23 of Australian magazine Monster Children evidences his pursuit, and should be pinned in every federal office across the globe. Our world would make more sense. FTVS hereby nominates Kate Moss’ nipple for the Nobel Prize in Economics.