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	<title>FORTUNA, THAT VICIOUS SLUT &#187; Public Service Announcement</title>
	<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: Size Does Matter When Inserting Sea Animals In Anus</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, FTVS is first and foremost a source of public health and safety, an almanac of medicality and biological guidance. It is why Kathleen Sebelius frequently stops by the office for a game of find-the-gherkin. Ever since FTVS featured a glowing review of Shane Smith&#8216;s documentary Genki and The Art of Eel Porn, FTVS readers [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/05/05/psa-slut-size-does-matter-when-inserting-sea-animals-in-anus/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>PSA Slut: European Chickens Cause Homosexuality (Indeed)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bolivian President Evo Morales announced last week (at the World People&#8217;s Conference on Climate Change and the Rights of Mother Earth) that European chickens are the primary source of homosexuality and male baldness. FTVS, as the last bastion of rigorous scientific geometry, decided to put this bold claim through an ascetic yet empirically normative test. [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/04/28/psa-slut-european-chickens-cause-homosexuality-indeed/</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: FTVS goes Pay-Per-View</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear reader, since the year two thousand and nine (2009), your life and loins have swelled freely with the most geometrically economical content on the internets. No longer! The time has come for FTVS to follow her intellectually inferior cousin, the Wall Street Journal, and capitalize on her entrepreneurial and coital talent. Starting today, the [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/04/01/psa-slut-ftvs-goes-pay-per-view/</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: FTVS Editors Brawl over Deniz Kurtel, FTVS Output Negatively Affected</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, sometimes life throws lemons at you, in which case it is very advisable that you self-medicate with rophynol and reacquaint yourself with PornHub. This past week, FTVS editors found themselves in a mutual lemon, when what started as a groundbreaking and exclusive interview of young female producer Deniz Kurtel escalated into organized warfare at the FTVS [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/03/06/psa-slut-ftvs-editors-brawl-over-deniz-kurtel-ftvs-output-negatively-affected/</link>
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		<title>Q&amp;A Slut: Is It Acceptable to (Not) Masturbate on an Airplane?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Thoughtful readers, what is the more benevolent of Fortuna&#8217;s gifts? A) Providing mankind with the ability to practice the art of flight via airplane or B) Providing humanity with the capacity to fondle the erogenous musculars and spelunk the coital caverns? In other words, mankind is able to fly, and mankind is able to she-bop [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/02/08/qa-slut-is-it-acceptable-to-masturbate-on-an-airplane/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>PSA Slut (1967 Edition): LSD-25 Friend or Foe?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The greatest doctor once said &#8220;I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they&#8217;ve always worked for me.&#8221; FTVS staff, on the other hand, jovially advocates for the golden quartet; it usually and perhaps always contributes to the procreation of groundbreaking FTVS content. Can you imagine what would become of the [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/02/01/lsd-25-friend-or-foe/</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: Merry Christmas</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, FTVS is aware of all things sacrosanct and incorporeal. We are fondlers of the spiritual and the sexual, oftentimes simultaneously. Accordingly, we wish you all a Merry Christmas, and ask that you appreciate your family, friends and of course Jesus H. Christ with extreme prejudice on this fine day. May you all indulge in [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2009/12/25/psa-slut-merry-christmas/</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: FTVS Aircraft Crashes, FTVS Intern Still Missing</title>
		<description><![CDATA[FORT COLLINS, Colo. – FTVS’s latest contribution to humanity went impossibly wrong after six (6) year-old FTVS intern Falcon Heene accidentally fell in the cockpit of a balloon built by legendary craftsman and mediocre father Richard Heene. This very groundbreaking apparatus was developed exclusively and with extreme prejudice for FTVS transport, as airplanes had proven [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2009/10/15/public-service-annoucement-slut-ftvs-groundbreaking-advertising-go-wrong-ftvs-intern-still-missing/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>PSA Slut: Announcement in Portuguese</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear readers, FTVS staff is constantly concerned for your well-being and fortitude, which is why we, in partnership with SOS Mata Atlantica, endorse shower urination. One must not possess Portuguese fluency  to appreciate the inherent cleansing utility of splashing your little footsies about in golden puddles. It&#8217;s truly an every-person activity; although drinking from the fountain of [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2009/08/04/an-ftvs-public-service-announcement-in-portuguese-pee-in-the-shower/</link>
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