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	<title>FORTUNA, THAT VICIOUS SLUT</title>
	<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: FTVS Summer Hianus</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, FTVS output has been more flaccid than a Palestine-destined flotilla as of late. Sadly, our lack of journalistic ejaculate will continue through the summer months, not unlike a bitch in heat. Why? Because FTVS is returning to school for the summer, and when school is in session, FTVS is not. We shall be back [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/08/06/psa-slut-ftvs-summer-hianus/</link>
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		<title>Party Slut: Kontrol Your Boner, Craig Richards Comes to SF</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, we apologize for our flaccid output of late. The FTVS editorial board has been busy with less urgent matters. Advising BP on how not to control premature yet robust ejaculation, mentoring the Israeli military on how not to crash a boat party, our schedules have been tight, perhaps too tight. And yet, we interrupt [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/06/03/party-slut-kontrol-your-boner-craig-richards-comes-to-sf/</link>
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		<title>Culture Slut: Louis CK Explains the Catholic Church</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, we who are not Catholic have misunderstood the Church for too long. While FTVS Founding Editor Jack Colt may have been raised under Catholicism&#8217;s gentle, tender umbrella &#8212; spending his youth polishing the proverbial calysses &#8212; the Church&#8217;s eschatology (scatology?) has always left us discomposed. Perhaps a symptom of our plebeian, vile sensibilities. It [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/05/27/culture-slut-louis-ck-explains-the-catholic-church/</link>
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		<title>Culture Slut: Iranian Government Denies Holocaust, Conducts Its Own</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Earlier today, the FTVS bureau was forwarded distressing images of men in uniform partaking in what can only be described as the worst crime against humanity since the creation of FTVS. In this world of complete theological disarray, Iran demonstrated that infamy knows no bounds, by ordering the systematic and hermeneutic destruction of millions of [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/05/20/culture-slut-iran-denies-holocaust-then-conducts-its-own/</link>
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		<title>FTVS ESSENSUAL MIX, Third (3) Edition: Mr. C</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, rather than letting FTVS do the talking, we will now do what Noam Chomsky should have done in 1971: we will shut the fuck up and let the Michel Foucault of electronic music say his piece. Dearest Eezer, please share with us your most intoxicating and intoxicated story involving the sweet narcotics and the [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/05/11/ftvs-essensual-mix-third-3-edition-mr-c/</link>
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		<title>Style Slut: Male Shoes That Attract Female</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dr. Martens x Stussy Desert Boots: The punks had Dr. Martens, and the surfers had Shawn Stussy. The punks are dead and Stussy sold his name, but the refined FTVS reader will be content to see an unlikely collaboration yield a pair of shoes that will not only be useful for roofying drinks at The [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/05/09/style-slut-male-shoes-that-attract-female/</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: Size Does Matter When Inserting Sea Animals In Anus</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, FTVS is first and foremost a source of public health and safety, an almanac of medicality and biological guidance. It is why Kathleen Sebelius frequently stops by the office for a game of find-the-gherkin. Ever since FTVS featured a glowing review of Shane Smith&#8216;s documentary Genki and The Art of Eel Porn, FTVS readers [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/05/05/psa-slut-size-does-matter-when-inserting-sea-animals-in-anus/</link>
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		<title>PSA Slut: European Chickens Cause Homosexuality (Indeed)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Bolivian President Evo Morales announced last week (at the World People&#8217;s Conference on Climate Change and the Rights of Mother Earth) that European chickens are the primary source of homosexuality and male baldness. FTVS, as the last bastion of rigorous scientific geometry, decided to put this bold claim through an ascetic yet empirically normative test. [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/04/28/psa-slut-european-chickens-cause-homosexuality-indeed/</link>
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		<title>Culture Slut: Tits Cause Quakes, FTVS Leaves for Haiti</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Readers, is it any surprise that a Persian scientist/religious hero has made the greatest scientific discovery since the Nipponese invented the LaserDisc? Of course, not. A high-ranking Iranian cleric recently identified that it is in fact the exposure of the women&#8217;s tittays, vagizzles, and badonk-a-cheeks that causes earthquakes. That is correct: those of you, dear [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/04/23/culture-slut-tits-cause-quakes-ftvs-leaves-for-haiti/</link>
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		<title>Music Slut: Theology and Sex with Laura Escudé and Friends</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In this world of libidinous disarray, FTVS remains your trusted source for theology. This weekend, Los Angeles-based Ableton Live Master Laura Escudé &#8212; a sexified womanimal if there ever has been one &#8212; will visit the holy city of San Francisco to help Brooklyn-based pioneer Moldover celebrate his birthday. The roster for this evening of [...]


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		<link>http://www.fortunathatviciousslut.org/2010/04/20/music-slut-theology-and-sex-with-laura-escude-and-friends/</link>
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