Tag Archives: China

PSA Slut: Size Does Matter When Inserting Sea Animals In Anus

Readers, FTVS is first and foremost a source of public health and safety, an almanac of medicality and biological guidance. It is why Kathleen Sebelius frequently stops by the office for a game of find-the-gherkin. Ever since FTVS featured a glowing review of Shane Smith‘s documentary Genki and The Art of Eel Porn, FTVS readers […]

Culture Slut: Wiggers, Uighurs, and Everything In Between

Confused by the semblance of the Wiggers and the Uighurs? Let FTVS explain. The Wigger people are a thickly persecuted Turkic ethnic group sparsely habituating Western China. The Wiggers are to the People’s Republic of China (PRC) what the Palestinians are to Israel. Superlatively surveilled by that mongoloid President of theirs, Mr. Hu Jintao, and […]

Food Slut: Panda Express

I’d like to call attention to the fortunes in fortune cookies. Specifically, the sick fuck in China who slips his molesting prognostications into cookies that make their way to my Panda Express. You can’t imagine the disappointment I feel. The digestive gratification of a three-item meal – kung pao pork, pepper pork, egg rolls, washed […]