Tag Archives: Falcon Heene

Political Slut: Obama Visits San Francisco to Lobby FTVS

It comes as no surprise to everyone that Obama Barack would charter the beleaguered Air Force One (1) to San Francisco solely to lobby the eminent FTVS staff. The media firestorm that accrued around missing FTVS intern Falcon Heene swept through the District of Columbia beltway like syphilis in the Castro. Obama, being the copacetic […]

PSA Slut: FTVS Aircraft Crashes, FTVS Intern Still Missing

FORT COLLINS, Colo. – FTVS’s latest contribution to humanity went impossibly wrong after six (6) year-old FTVS intern Falcon Heene accidentally fell in the cockpit of a balloon built by legendary craftsman and mediocre father Richard Heene. This very groundbreaking apparatus was developed exclusively and with extreme prejudice for FTVS transport, as airplanes had proven […]